Radford University Mental Health Response Team has compiled this handout as a guide
to help you support your student. No tragedy is the same and yet all individuals in
the community experience grief when tragedy occurs. Whether one has a direct or indirect
relationship with victims and survivors, all can benefit from an understanding of
the grieving process.
Grief is a normal reaction to loss. Grieving individuals usually undergo a process
that may have some common stages or characteristics; however, people vary in their
expression of grief and its duration. They may feel disbelief, anger, hopelessness,
sadness, and/or guilt at various times while grieving.
Sometimes individuals who are grieving will experience symptoms similar to those of
depression such as sadness, crying spells, poor appetite and difficulty sleeping.
They also may lose interest in friends, hobbies, studies, and activities that previously
provided satisfaction. They may prefer isolation or engage in risky activities such
as alcohol or drug abuse. They may have a spiritual crisis and a dismal or nonexistent
view of the future. A current loss can trigger unresolved feelings associated with
a past loss, which might complicate movement through the grief process.
The following is a guide to help respond to those who are grieving. It is written
for parents, but applies to anyone affected by the recent tragedy. Grieving is a process
that is unique to the culture, temperament, coping style, and history of each individual.
The information and suggestions in this guide must be tempered by the complexity of
relationships and history that affect the grief process. So proceed gently.
If you recognize that your son or daughter is experiencing the symptoms mentioned in this brochure, you must decide whether to speak to him or her about it. If you do choose to speak with your student, the following are some guidelines for your interaction:
Counseling can help facilitate the process of grieving by providing support and education,
normalizing reactions, and helping work through feelings associated with loss. Counseling
might focus on helping the student to explore the impact of the particular loss, to
understand and deal with emotional reactions resulting from the loss, and to begin
to say goodbye to their friend while holding onto the essence of what they gained
from the relationship. As students move through the grief process, the pain and loss
eventually become less intense, and they are able to move forward in their lives.
Counseling may also be helpful to the student in negotiating other life demands.
To facilitate early identification of difficulties, listed below are some possible
warning signs that indicate students who may benefit from assistance.
The appearance of any of the above warning signs may indicate that a student is in distress. If any of these signs are observed, especially on a repeated basis within a short period of time (two to three weeks), it is important to talk with your son or daughter and refer him/her to the RU Student Counseling Services.
While it is important to be concerned about the well being of students, we cannot make their decisions for them, and counseling is always a personal choice. Nevertheless, you can assist a student who is ambivalent about seeking professional help in a number of ways: